Funny man

"An angry wife to her husband on phone.
Wife: Where the hell are you?

Husband: Honey, you remember that gold shop you saw the diamond necklace & fell in love with it?

Wife (relaxed): Yes.

Husband: Remember I had no cash to buy it for you that day & I said I will buy it for you one day?

Wife (with a smile & a blush): Yes I remember!

Husband: Good, I am at a beer parlor beside it.  😂 😂

Akpos & his ex-girlfriend,

Ex-girlfriend : I told you to delete my contact from your phone  :(

Akpos : I deleted the contact but the sad thing is,  I STILL KNOW THE NUMBER OFFHEAD..

Ladies, this is a Secret !!!

 If a man is crazy about you, please pray he doesn't get well, but if u saw him getting well, know that another woman is giving him some tablets... 🆘

A Boy was ask to pray for there dinner

BOY: But i don't know how to
pray.
DAD: Just pray for your family
members, friends and neighbors, the poor, etc
BOY: "Dear Lord.." he started Thank you for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream.
Bless them so they won't come again.
Forgive our neighbour's son, who always remove my sister's clothes and wrestle with her on her bed.
This coming Christmas, please send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my daddy's Blackberry! ...and also provide shelter for the homeless men who use mom's room when daddy is at work!
..... Amen!

Dinner was cancelled... Lolzzzz

JOKE NUMBER: 23611 

Funny Jokes

CHEMISTRY CLASS

Professor: Chemical symbol of Barium??

Kofi: BA...

Professor: For sodium??

Kofi: NA..

Professor: What will we get if 1 atom of BA & 2 atoms of NA are combined?...

Kofi: BANANA !!!

Joke : 24631

JOKE: CHATTING IN THE BUS

I was in the bus chatting with my friend on facebook and suddenly discovered that the man sitting beside me was reading my conversation.

Since i did not want to embarrass the man, i decided to change the topic of the chat; Abeg oga, please tell Kabiru Sokoto or Abu Qaqa that I only took two of the bombs we just manufactured for this operation.

Let them know as well that I may find it difficult to get to the target place before the bombs explode because there is terrible traffic jam now but nevertheless,

I am sure casualty figure will be high since we are 15 in our bus & all the vehicles in the traffic will be affected too. We have less than 3minutes for the bomb to go off....

bye bye & take care of my parents & siblings as agreed. The Man, without allowing the bus to stop quickly opened the bus door and jumped out with better run....  LOL

Joke of the week

Thompson was about embark on 3 months business trip. Very early in d morning, his wife woke up, walk 2 him & handed him a box of condoms, saying,

"My luv, pls take this with u incase u are tempted."Wit a broad smile, Thompson said, "Thank u sweetheart, u are d best woman!"

Wen he got into his car, his wife came running, saying, "sweety, pls give me some, who knows, I might also be tempted.".... LOL

August Latest Jokes. check BBMC for more: C001BE1D8

Teacher: Who is a pharmacist?
only Akpors raised up his hand. Teacher: So it's only Akpors dat is d most intelligent student I ve in dis class?
Still dere's no body else to answer d question except him.
Tacher:Now Akpors, use dis cane & flog dem 10 strokes of cane each!
Akpors filled wit happiness, gave all d students 10 hot strokes of cane.
Teacher: Oyaa my dear Akpors, tell dis dumbs d answer.
Akpors:A pharmacist is a farmer who assist pple..Tachr: fainted. LOL..



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sick woman was lying on her sick bed with her husband by her side, she turns to the husband and said WIFE :Honey, I ve a confession 2 make.
HUSBAND : Save ur strength my dear!
WIFE : No, I want 2 say it so dat wen I die my spirit will be at rest. I ve been stealing ur money, u're nt d father of our son Junior, I was d one who stole ur gold wrist watch & hide it in ur sister's bag so dat u'll drive her away.. Pls 4give me.
HUSBAND : I know all dis, dat's why I poisoned u, Keep calm Let it work...


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Some Kids are funny from womb : Two baby twins saw a dick coming
towards them inside womb, one said look
out daddy is coming to play wit us, d other
one replied shut up! Daddy doesn't wear mask whn he's coming to play wit us, u will see that this one wnt give us ice cream when he's leaving...

BBM Nigeria joke

Relationship In Serious Matters 

Tooke: Jerry, I'm tired of this relationship.

Jerry: Why, what's wrong?

Tooke: Since we've started dating, you haven't laughed or smiled at me.

Jerry : surprised(With eyes open) , Wasn't you that said you wanted a serious relationship? LOL...

Guys and Babes Joke/ Advice

When a girl cries for you - don't be too emotional.
Those tears are like a loan - you will have to pay it
back with great interest. LOL..

Baby With big BOOBS joke 

A lady with big boobs entered a bus.
She has a rosary around her neck with
the cross between her boobs. Tom
was sitting beside her and couldn't
help staring. The lady knowing Tom
has been staring for over 20mins then
asked with smile "Are you looking at Jesus Christ who died on the cross?
Tom replied with bigger smile: No dear! Am actually looking at the two thieves beside him. ...LOL

Funny Naija joke

 BLIND MAN
A blind guy visited his choir mistress at home and found her bathing.
since he was bl;ind, she let him in. After bathing, she came out naked with legs spread and shaving in front of him and tried to make a conversation by asking him, brother Uche, " what brings you here to my house today? Is everything OK at home" she asked, He replied, yes oooo, splendid. I came to tell you that i have done the eye surgery and non i can see very clearly.  LOLZZZ



 SCHOOL BOY
An 13 years old guy was asked " what do you want to be when you finish your secondary school? "  He replied " A doctor" They asked him " Why's that?" He replied " Because it's the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill ."   LOLZZZZZZ 



GIRLFRIEND AND BOYFRIEND

One day a girlfriend met with her boyfriend, she has been looking for how to ask him for diamond ring , then she said " Honey guess what, yesternight in my dream, i saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring"
  Boyfriend: "Wow baby! i had the same dream and i saw your dad paying the bill."  LOLzzz


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It was a fuuny day for Mr. Obi today

Obi is always a serious man, and any time he came back home he always frond his face, but today he was reading jokes on Nigeria jokes, he tried to be greedy again...probably he will laugh behind close door alone, but what we had was Mr. Obi's bombom cover opened with all the laugh Mr.Obi was saving inside....all came out with a great sound  from his bombom (mess).....lolxxxxxx

Dont be greedy to share our blog or bbm channel pin.bbm.com/C001BE1D8

you can also send your jokes to nigeriajokes@gmail.com

Emma and her teacher short joke

Teacher was teaching in a class of 22 students, and she saw Emma was busy playing and  isn't paying attention , so she asked him " Hey you stand up, if there are two birds sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Emma replied " No one"  The teacher ask, "why?" Emma said " Because the shoot sound scared them all off."  The teacher said " No , one, but i like how you are thinking."

9ija police stopped pastor on his way -- joke

Police: Mr man pack well!

Pastor: please officer i am in hurry, can i go?

Police: I said pack well and show us your papers.

Pastor : Packed well, here are my papers, i am a pastor, going for some prayers now.

Police : oga that story na after we check your paper finish, i no even ask you anything about that.

Pastor: Ok officer check papers, all is correct.

Police: Oga before you left home, did you check all these papers?

Pastor : Yes i did last week, but today i'm in prayer mood, i didn't check it.

Police : Ok, oga come down, give me the car key and change sit .... we are going to station now.

Pastor : OMG , devil u lie, .... he started making calls..

Police : If you like call God, your papers don expire .........
.... and both of them was standing behind him waiting ..... LOLzzzzzzzzzzz

Nigeria jokes

We like to welcome you guys to nigerian jokes, .....
you are also welcome to viste our BBM channel @ C001BE1D8 or click here pin.bbm.com/C001BE1D8

We shall post some of our jokes here on our blog, for does who does not make use of BBM.  All our goal id to make you happy and smile, becaues happiness makes the life spand more longer. Nigeria is a happy country and also will always produce people who are more happy :) 

Someone said "The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be"

Why do you need to smile? IS BECAUSE YOUR BODY NEEDS IT :)

Join us, follow us, and be happy.

You can also email your jokes to us:  nigeriajokes@gmail.com